ASA 03 | Why People Buy


It is important to know the needs and wants of your customer because they support what they help to create. However, in selling, who you are is more important than what you’re selling. How you frame your offer is a keystone to avoid any unmet expectations that people have. Getting people to know, like, and trust you is the key.

In this episode, Alex shares the three main reasons why people buy. Discover what they are so you can stay in this long-term game.

Listen to the podcast here:

Three Reasons Why People Buy

Let me tell you the story of David Perdew. Dave is a friend of mine. David runs an organization called NAMS, Novice to Advanced Marketing System. In 2015, David hired me to coach him to do something he hadn’t done before. First, to get pre-registrants for the following year and second, to sell a high-end offer.

David’s a very good marketer. David is a good JV partner and he’s also a gentleman, but he hadn’t ever sold a high-end offer from the NAMS stage, which he had been running for years. He hired me and I coached him while he was onstage.

When it came time to make the offer, people asked, “What is included in the offer, David?” My response was, “What difference does it make what’s in the offer?” A few people laughed and some were shocked. Maybe a few were offended. David was nervous.

Relationship Capital

I said, “What difference does that make what David offers? If you know David, which you do. If you like David, which you do. If you trust David, which you do. How do I know? You’re here. What difference does it make what is in the offer? He may not know. Maybe you can help him craft the offer.”

What I’m talking about here is relationship capital because who was doing the selling is a lot more critical than what is being sold. If you don’t get this, it’s time for you to get this finally.

It’s all about who versus what versus how versus when versus where, even versus why. Who comes first? If you have enough relationship capital, people will buy on command. They will give you an uncompromised yes.

I have over 80 people in my life, some of them prominent thought leaders. Male and female who will say yes to me without me even making the request.

Harvey Mackay, he’s one of them. I’ll say, “I need you to say yes to a question I’m about to ask you. Let’s just get that out of the way. Do I have a yes?” He’ll say, “Alex, yes.” The reason he says that is because he knows I would never risk our relationship on something where I didn’t feel he had the better end of the deal.

Ivan Misner is another one. Ivan Misner founded BNI, Business Network International. Jack Canfield is another one. Lisa Nichols is another.

If you don’t know these individuals, you can look them up on Google. Imagine having over 80 people. One person not in the list of relationship capital uncompromised yes fodder is my mother, Carol Mandossian, who lives in Pasadena, California.

I don’t know why I don’t have enough relationship capital for her to say yes before I tell her what I want, but she’s my mom. You can’t get it sometimes from the people who you were closest with.

As far as enrolling high-end clients as David who was set to the task at that event, you can if you set the know-like-trust process. It’s a template in direct sales. Others call it the MLM or network marketing.

Know-like-trust is almost a part of the lexicon of the conversation of why people should come on board, whether someones’ leading with the product or leading with the opportunity.

[bctt tweet=”People support what they help to create.” via=”no”]

One thing we did is we made an offer and the offer was to meet us in a room after this segment in the seminar. We had a full house in the room. David went into the room. He was a little nervous. I can remember it like it was yesterday. I set him up and I said, “I’m putting David on the hook.” His wife was there, so I felt bad but I was ruthlessly compassionate because I was doing it for him. I knew that he deserved to have a high-end offer.

When we say high-end, we’re not talking $50,000 or $20,000, not even $10,000. It was under $10,000. He made the offer and what he asked and requested Socratically is, “Help me put into this what would be worthwhile to you?” The only reason why people were there was not because of the elements in the offer, because there was no offer. The only reason they were there was because of David Perdew. They weren’t there because of me. They were there because of him.

You are no different. You can create someone to know you, like you and trust you if you have the patience of the pigeon lady you heard about before. If you’re like the young boy who threw the birdseed at the pigeons because he didn’t have ten minutes of patience, 600 seconds to get pigeons feeding on their hands, that the second, third, fourth, fifth sale is fast, then it’s not going to work for you.

It’s not a fling you’re looking for. It’s a lifetime love affair you’re looking for. Getting someone to know, like and trust you are the key. How you frame your offer is a keystone to avoid any unmet expectations that people have. Who you are is more important than what you’re selling.

If you know that people are pre-qualified, they dramatically can reduce their ability to reject you because they’re pre-qualified. If they’ve completed an application, they’re pre-qualified. If they’ve completed a questionnaire, they’re pre-qualified. If you know they belong in the room or in the virtual room such as a webinar or Facebook Live, they’re pre-qualified.

Understand that pre-qualification, framing and the who, that means you, is everything that leads to the three reasons why people buy. People buy because they know, like and trust you. Trust is the lubricant of a sale.

You Are The Message

ASA 03 | Why People Buy

Alexisms: Useful Life Lessons from a Recovering Serial Entrepreneur

The Alexism that I want to share with you from my book, Alexisms, is that you don’t need a parachute to skydive. Did you know that? You just need a parachute to skydive more than once. It’s funny but it’s also true.

The way that that is relevant to our topic is it is a long-term game of getting someone to know you, like you and trust you. If they know you, they’re a suspect. If they like you, they’re a prospect. You can now communicate with them because they gave you permission.

If they trust you, they’re a client, customer, patient, student or a member if you have a membership site. No matter what you call them, if they trust you, they have exchanged a little bit of their own freedom, money with you.

Let me say this to you, you are the message. The message is not a book. The message is not an email. The message is not a membership site. The message is not even an article or a podcast. This is not the message. I am my message. Isn’t that why you’re reading? You’re reading this far into it. There’s a reason for it.

It can’t be because of the words All Selling Aside. It can’t be because of iTunes. You are your message.

Imagine a bicycle wheel and you are the hub of that bicycle wheel. By itself, the hub is meaningless, but if you attach spokes to it, not one but many, imagine those are the media channels. A book is a media channel. A podcast is a media channel. A YouTube channel, by name, is a media channel. A Facebook group is a media channel.

Those are spokes that connect you, the hub, to the wheel. We’re talking about a bicycle wheel and the wheel itself is the market. The wheel is the market, the spokes are the media. Media is plural for medium and you are the hub. The hub is the message. Can you see that?

The reason I say that is people confuses themselves with the message. If you wrote a book and you spent two years trying to write a book, that book is not the message. You are the message. You want to sell yourself before you sell anything else. People will only buy from you, not because of what you have to sell. They will buy from you because who they believe you are. They know you. They like you. They trust you.

Let me be clear. There’s an ancient Chinese proverb that says, “When the true leader’s job is done, all the people say, ‘We did it ourselves.’” Going back to David, what he did is he allowed his students, many of whom were colleagues, to create the offer. Imagine, this is perfectly natural. Others will read and would be thinking, “How could you offer something you didn’t have?”

It’s one of our principles, sell before you have it. How do you know what they want unless you asked them and they tell you what they want? People support what they help to create. That’s why I said when the true leader’s job is done, everyone says, “We did it ourselves.” There were no refund requests with that high-end offer at NAMS in 2015. It’s because they created it. People support what they helped to create.

I’ve talked about Socrates and the Socratic method. Ask first. I talked about being in the QVC green room and watching the results of sales from the stage, and then changing the TV commercial as a result of those Home Shopping Network sales.

[bctt tweet=”Passion doesn’t produce commitment. Commitment produces passion.” via=”no”]

My client at the time, his name is Ray Stevens, said it about his comedy video classics back in 1993. We changed the TV commercials so that it would sell in other cities. It was only selling in the Bible Belt and parts of the South. It’s the area where they’re most familiar with Ray Stevens. He has a 3,000-seat theater in Branson, Missouri, which is the Nashville of the Midwest.

Passion doesn’t produce commitment. Commitment produces passion. First, you need the wood then you have the fire. “Passion doesn’t produce commitment. Commitment produces fire,” was uttered by one of my mentors, Roy H. Williams, who runs Wizard Academy in Austin, Texas.

“Wood is the commitment. Fire is passion.” It’s uttered by another mentor of mine, T. Harv Eker. He doesn’t have a home base. He has one in San Diego, Hawaii and other parts of the world. What’s important is people put so much emphasis on passionately selling their offer, but passion isn’t the thing.

Influence And Persuade

I know passionate people who are angry. I know passionate people who are depressed. I know passionate people who are suicidal. They are passionately suicidal and they’re still living. I don’t know anyone committed who’s suicidal because they’d be dead.

Commitment produces passion. Remember that as you learned previously with Nasreddin Hodja in the thirteenth century about smuggling donkeys. Transparency is the ultimate trust lubricant. When you’re authentic to your audience, to your candidate, people will get to know, like and trust you faster. It’s the key.

I’d love to give you some whizzbang technique of how to influence and persuade. I’d love to show you how to get compliance from others. The fastest, easiest and most reliable way to get people to say yes to you is to get them first to know you, then to like you and to trust you.

If there’s a formula, be vulnerable first. Go first. Even if it hits you on the forehead like a shovel, it’s a lot better than skydiving without a parachute. You always have another option and another candidate to talk to you.

Here’s our quick review about the specific insights you and I rediscovered in this show. First of all, ethical influence is about inspiring others. It’s not about selling your offer or product as much as it is getting them to know you, to like you and trust you. Those are the three reasons why people buy.

Secondly, framing your offer is more important than all of your features and benefits in the offer. If people come into a room pre-qualified, you framed it. If you’re selling hamburgers to vegetarians, you’ve got a problem. You can be the greatest salesperson on earth, you’re not going to make that sale because you haven’t framed it properly.

Pre-qualification is 80% of the process of a sale and promotion is about 20%. Spend 80% of the time pre-qualifying, Socratically asking questions, and 20% of the time promoting and you will minimize, even eliminate personal rejection. These principles can only work for you if you work them.

ASA 03 | Why People Buy

Why People Buy: If they know you, they’re a suspect. If they like you, they’re a prospect.


Speaking of reviews, I want you to go to I want you to type in your biggest takeaway or a-ha moment you experienced. The URL will forward to my iTunes channel. If you’ve already given me a review, then you’re done. If you haven’t, you can do this now in the review section. When you do it, iTunes will ask you to rate this. I do hope I’ve earned five stars from you. Go ahead, declare your one big takeaway. If you haven’t done it, do that in the iTunes review section. It takes three minutes out of your day, but what you declare publicly could provide you a lifetime of learning.

I have one final gift to give you the honor of All Selling Aside, and that’s a complimentary copy of my book. It’s an eBook in the version that I want to give you, which is free. It’s available on Amazon, but why pay for something when you can get something for free? It’s called Alexisms: Useful Life Lessons from a Recovering Serial Entrepreneur. It’s me. You can download it at

I do hope our paths cross again next time for All Selling Aside, the show dedicated to making ethical influence within your reach so that you can achieve and even exceed your sales potential.

Do whatever it takes to join me next time because our topic will be three reasons why people won’t buy. This was about why people do buy. The next time is why people won’t buy. I encourage you to invite a friend and bring a study buddy. I can’t wait for us to connect then.

One final shout out to my good friend Michael Lovitch, Cofounder of Baby Bathwater Institute. He is the one at a mastermind in Montreal. I was there with my good friend who invited me, Danny Iny and his wife Bhoomi. During that mastermind, on the final day, Michael Lovitch said, “I think you should call your podcast All Selling Aside.” I said, “Great idea.” I’ve got the URL, it was available.

Here I am with this show. I’m grateful to you for making it this far. My wish for you is that you start enjoying the selling process because sales can be fun if you know how to avoid rejection. By doing what I teach you, not only will you avoid rejection, but you will become wealthy. I wish you good sales and good fortune. Until next time.

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