ASA 57 | Wonderful Lie


People often highlight the importance of knowing great individuals in business. Alex Mandossian exposes this Wonderful Lie and reveals the key factors that will put you in a place of profitability and success. Utilizing the VCP Process, he explains why who you know does not matter as much compared to who knows and trusts you. Alex then dives into the mantra of author Jim Collins—first who, then what—that sets up a safety net for business startups. This episode could have a significant impact on how you can win the hearts of others with total and absolute certainty. Tune in to what Alex is going to share.

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It’s A Wonderful Lie!

This is a show devoted to coaches, consultants, and other service professionals who want to get more premium clients but don’t enjoy the selling process. Is that you? We believe that seeding through storytelling is the new selling. No matter what you believe, I hope you agree that nothing happens in any business until something is sold. It doesn’t matter what business you’re in. If you hate selling, then this show is for you.

After you read a few episodes, you’ll find out that selling can be fun. Can you imagine that? That’s if and only if you know what to say when to say it and how to say it. If that’s what you’ve been looking for, then you’re in the right place. Read carefully because this teaches you how to sell by obliterating the objections that typically lead to personal rejection.

Although ethical influence is central to our discussions, you and I will also explore other fascinating and important topics such as growing your relationship capital, branding strategies and finding great joint venture partners. Also, team-building, outsourcing principles, client acquisition tactics, repurposing strategies, million-dollar habits, and ninja marketing tips to name a few. In this episode, you’ll learn three key insights, which I believe are critical to making you a highly skilled ethical influencer.

Ethical influence is a learnable skill. You’ll discover number one, who you know in business doesn’t guarantee profitability and that’s The Wonderful Lie. That’s a movie that many people watch during the holidays around December time, It’s a Wonderful Life. I changed it to It’s a Wonderful Lie and took out the F because who you know is not the key to building a business network. Number two, you’ll learn that who knows you and who trusts you in business is the key.

Utilizing a process, we talked about in a previous episode and it was created by the founder of BNI, Business Network International. That’s Dr. Ivan Misner. It’s called the VCP process. Third, you’ll learn first who then what? That’s a mantra that the author Jim Collins has taught me over the years. First, who then what is the safety net under the tight wire of any business startup because it can be scary.

This episode could have a significant impact on how you can win the hearts of others with total and absolute certainty. I’m not overstating that. I mean that. If English is your second language, I hope you’ll listen to this and all the other episodes, not once, not twice but three times, because nothing empowers the fluency of learning a new language and the art of ethical influence.

A Story Of A Pastor

I once heard of a story of a pastor who gave a sermon to his congregation somewhere in the south, in the United States of America. It was a great sermon. The congregation, those are the people attending church. They congratulated him after the service was over and said, “Pastor, that was a great sermon. It’s one of the best you’ve ever given.” He is shaking hands and hugging people as they’re leaving the church.

The following week he started his sermon again. People in the congregation were a little surprised because it was the same sermon he had given the week before. They congratulated and told him, “That was a great sermon. It sounds familiar.” They said sarcastically. Some of them anyway, the trustees of the church especially, but they felt, “Maybe he wanted to drive the point home.” Fast forward. Same sermon. Week five, same sermon.

[bctt tweet=”Who you know is not the key to building a business network.” username=”AlexMandossian”]

As the congregation is leaving the church and they’re going home with their families, one of the trustees of the church came up and said, “Pastor, is everything okay?” The pastor said, “Yes, why?” He said, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’ve been given the same sermon week after week. I’m wondering if you realize that.” He looked back at this particular trustee and he said, “Yes, I do realize that. Yes, I have been doing it intentionally.” When he was drawing a crowd and some families gathered.

The question was, why is the congregation hearing the same sermon, that same speech in church week after week? Why not go to another topic? With that, the pastor answered confidently and intentionally and he said, “I’ll stop giving that sermon the moment people in our congregation start living it.” As an American, I am drawn to new, unique, and innovative.

We had inventors like Thomas Edison in 1800 and we have innovators like Steve Jobs in the 20th and 21st century of Apple. We look for new things. I don’t know how many people stand in line at an Apple store to get the newest iPhone even though their iPhone works as well despite the operating system. We have this love affair as Americans and I can speak on behalf of the Americans because I had been one all my life, all 55 years.

Because we’re unarmored with new, we seem to get bored with old. Whether old is an Egyptian pyramid or if old is a two-tablet ad called The Ten Commandments brought down from Mount Sinai by Moses as the story goes. Whether it’s old as any spiritual tradition, whether it’s Christianity, Buddhism, Islam or name any organized spiritual thought and belief system, we call it a religion because it’s organized.

The older it is, the more that you can trust it. It’s time-honored. Since 1995, I’ve had the honor and the privilege to get in front of over 800,000 entrepreneurs. These are students and they wanted to start a new digital marketing business. That’s the business I’ve been in. I started in 1995, which in terms of digital marketing, we call that BG, Before Google. Google is a little god of the internet marketing world. Back in 1995, it didn’t exist.

It wasn’t even a thought that had crossed the minds of the two founders who first met at Stanford. When I think of things that are embraced, the older they are, the more time-honored and time-tested they are, the better. They can change over time, but if something has time-honored and time lasting capability of working still certain principles. I’m sure you can think of a few, then I can trust that more.

The Most Common Question

The most common question I’ve been asked at any of the more than 800 events I’ve spoken at or 5,000 virtual events, whether they’re webinars, Facebook Lives or any other type of broadcast. I’ve always been asked the most common question as, “What business should I start, Alex, as if digital marketing is any easier than starting any other business?” It is simple but it’s not easy.

It’s less risky because you don’t have a physical location but many times, that diminishes the commitment level of the entrepreneur wanting to start it. Many times, they start it part-time and it becomes a flash in the pan, which here in the United States is a great idea, and ideas don’t make money. What makes money is something you’re committed to. You build and you grow over time.

ASA 57 | Wonderful Lie

Wonderful Lie: Who you know is the wonderful lie in business. It doesn’t build your business network and it doesn’t provide you profitability.


Let’s say an acorn would flop into a root that turns into a giant oak tree, as a watermelon seed turns into a watermelon. There’s a seed because that turns into roots and then eventually there’s the trunk and the branches. There are the leaves and then the fruits. Inside the fruits are more seeds. In looking at not the root cause, which is overrated, looking at seed cause, “What business should I start?” is not the first question to ask yourself. That’s a lie.

The wrong question is the type of business or the type of messaging, the marketing funnel, which is a buzzword or the media that you’re going to utilize, that all costs you money. That’s all of the outer game my good friend T. Harv Eker has said all the time, “It’s winning the inner game that matters.” It doesn’t grow your relationship capital if you’re looking at your messaging or your marketing, your media or the type of business.

You don’t even need a desk to start a business or location. You can start it with a simple mobile phone. You don’t even need an internet connection, although it will accelerate the process. The most appreciating asset you have happens to be the most lucrative business skill that you can build, which is the topic of a previous episode. I’m giving the same sermon and this is the VCP process. It stands for Visibility, Credibility, and Profitability.

Many people try to go from invisibility as if it comes before the V and leapfrog or jump directly to profitability. What business should I start is not the first question to ask yourself if you’re starting out or if you want to start a new business. How about another question? Who do I know that’s created wild success? Who can I joint venture with? Who’s been successful? I’ll name a few names. Steve Jobs, Deepak Chopra, J.K. Rowling of the Harry Potter books, Elon Musk, Oprah Winfrey.

Those are people you probably have heard of. They’re people you know, but they’re not in your business network. They don’t know you. You don’t have any relationship capital. The most wonderful lie in business. It’s a Wonderful Lie is the title for this episode is not who you know. It’s not what you know. Those are two lies. Many people say it’s who you know. It’s not.

The right question is who knows me. If someone knows you and they happen to be a thought leader or someone with high status or influence, then they’re part of your business network. You have true relationship capital. Who you know doesn’t build your business network and it doesn’t guarantee profitability. If you have to be visible to them, they’re visible to you. You have to be credible to them. They’re probably credible to you.

Although you may not know many things about their background, you know of them. The way that they can be profitable and truly be relationship capital, which is the most lucrative business skill you can grow as from a previous episode, is you have to be visible and credible, so you can be profitable. This is the VCP process that Dr. Ivan Misner has taught for many years.

As the Founder of Business Network International. With all the thousands of people and the thousands of chapters all across the world, it’s not only viable, but it is also a network that has grown and it is old. It is not only credible, but it’s profitable because it’s lasted not as long as spiritual predictions that you may be familiar with, but long enough. It’s who knows you. That’s the truth. It’s not who you know. That’s the lie.

[bctt tweet=”Nothing empowers the fluency of learning a new language than the art of ethical influence.” username=”AlexMandossian”]

The right question is, who do I know who I can invite into my business network and grow more with visibility and credibility? You can’t influence profitability until you’ve had that visibility and credibility with them. As per the VCP process. Profitability comes as the fruit of the trunk and the root of visibility and credibility.

Many people attempt to go from invisibility to profitability, which I believe, and I’ve interviewed Dr. Misner. He knows me and we talk about that. It’s called irritability because that’s the way you’ll show up. Do you want to be irritable? It’s because of the internet you think, you show up and you’re following someone or your face shows up even if you’re giving authentic commentary to any type of post that they’re doing, wherever they engage.

Whether it’s LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter or wherever they happen to be, maybe their blog. You buy their book and you give them a testimonial. The business network is not who you know. It’s who knows you. When you have a business network, it is not a treasure map that leads to a treasure chest full of gold and riches. It is a treasure map that leads to a treasure chest full of other treasure maps, which lead to wealth and riches.

How much time do you spend each week? How many containers of time each week in your calendar, not on your to-do list, which is meaningless where you set time aside uninterrupted to grow your business network? Ultimately, you’re becoming more visible, incredible to them. You can’t rush profitability. Even a human being takes about 40 weeks before they leave the womb.

The Right And Wrong Questions To Ask

That’s you unless you were premature like my son. He was 37 weeks and he’s alive, well, healthy, and a national class rower. If you want to ask the right question, ask yourself, “Who knows me?” If you don’t know a lot of those people, then I want you to think and rethink through the VCP process and go back to our previous episode.

Number one is at the top and then you keep reading and it goes. The website shows you more episodes. I even have the notes there that are detailed. You’ll enjoy them. We spend a lot of time. They’re typically over 2,500 words. It’s all there for you and it’s no cost. It’s a public service, 25 years of my sales and marketing know-how and it’s encapsulated in 25-minute chunks week after week.

Who knows me? It is the right question. Who do I know? It is the wrong question. What business should I start? It is the wrong question. What products should I sell? It is the wrong question. Who knows me? That is the most lucrative question you can ask to the most lucrative skill of building your business network and relationship capital. How do you do that? If you want to speed it up, the fastest, easiest, most reliable way I’ve known how to do it is to join a mastermind.

What’s that? Many times, you can join one with a collective group of likeminded. If there’s no fee involved, if it’s free and you’ve arranged it and you’re a hub to the group, then I’ll assume that it’ll work but not for long. If you have what’s called skin in the game and you’re paying for it, like I do $25,000, $30,000 and you’re doing that for a year, the one thing you know with absolute certainty is everyone else has paid the same amount.

ASA 57 | Wonderful Lie

Wonderful Lie: Who knows you and trusts you is your business network, and utilizing the VCP process will lead not only to profit and wealth but to relationship capital as well.


They’re usually not getting it gifted if they’re in a Mastermind. If you were to assign money to spend on continuing education and learning who could know you, I would budget as much money for continuing education on travel and on lodging. That means staying at a hotel or an Airbnb and attend a mastermind group.

Pick a mastermind group rather than buying a how-to course, which is learning how to do something or creating a skill of how to get your message to the market and get the perfect message to market matches as Dan Kennedy has talked about for years, who are one of my mentors. If you were to join a mastermind that is relationship capital, and in my opinion, it beats a how-to training.

This is from someone who has over 2,000 hours of how-to pieces of training who’ve made millions of dollars through how-to training and digital marketing. This is what my membership site has and this is what my students learn from me. This is what my consulting practice is. It’s not relationship capital and unless I know they and they know me. You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want. Zig Ziglar and Dale Carnegie said that. I’m saying that.

Alexism: Effective Social Influencers

The Alexism for this episode is these. Effective social influencers are like the wind. You can’t see them but you notice their presence. What does that mean? An effective influencer, in this case, social influencer, they’re like the wind. What that means is imagine if you’re not showing up and someone still trusts you. Imagine if you’re not showing up and posting on someone’s website or social media platform, whether it’s Facebook, LinkedIn, or Twitter, you’re not retweeting their tweets.

They still trust and they still know you. That’s what effective social influence is. You’re like the wind. You can’t see it, but you can see the effects of it. That’s what I want you to be. I want you to be like the wind. When you think about what to focus on the safety net in business, let’s say your business is like walking on a tightwire in the circus or across two buildings. A business startup is like on a tight rope, a tight wire, and typically there’s a safety net underneath.

Rather than asking, “What do I want to sell or what business do I want to create?” Ask yourself, “Who do I want to get to know me? Who do I want to be visible to and credible to so I can be profitable with them?” First, who then what is a mantra that Jim Collins first introduced to me many years from a book he wrote, Good to Great. It is your safety net on that tight wire because Darren Hardy, who’s a friend and he’s the publisher of Success Magazine.

He wrote a book called The Entrepreneur Roller Coaster, which is one of my favorite books. Entrepreneurship is like a roller coaster ride, but I believe it’s also like a tight wire walk and you need a safety net because you will lose money. You can get it back. You will make mistakes, but you will land on the net. It may hurt. I know trapeze artists who land on the net and they say, “It hurts.” There’s a net there, but it doesn’t kill them. First, who, then what as it relates to starting up any business.

What have you learned in this 57th episode? Here’s the review and these are insights I hope that you’ve rediscovered. I want you to apply them. Number one, who you know is the wonderful lie in business. It doesn’t build your business network. It doesn’t provide you profitability. Number two, who knows you and trusts you is your business network and utilizing the VCP process that Ivan Misner’s taught us.

[bctt tweet=”Effective social influencers are like the wind, you can’t see them but you notice their presence.” username=”AlexMandossian”]

Visibility, credibility, profitability will lead not only to profit and wealth but to relationship capital, which is the most lucrative skill he could have is building that. Finally, if you think to yourself every day, who do I want to build relationship capital with, and then ask yourself, “What do I want to talk about? What business do I want to talk about? What’s my message to that person?”

Wouldn’t you agree that you can’t possibly have a message that makes you sound smart, that gets you into profit unless you know who you’re talking to? If you have ever known your grandparents as I did, I spoke to them differently than my mother. I spoke to my mom differently than my dad. I spoke to my dad differently than my sister. I speak to my kids differently than I speak to my niece and nephew.

Does that mean that I’m a chameleon? No, it’s because I’m speaking to them in a way that’s relevant and appropriate to how they’ll understand. Who must proceed with what? Who you know and who knows you must proceed and come before what you’re going to say to them, which is your message. These insights will only work for you if you work them. Please make sure you execute, which means that you commit and do it.

If you execute what you’ve learned in this episode, then I believe your future will be a lot bigger. It’ll look a lot brighter and most important you would have created it on your terms. That was your review. If you’ve already given me a review on iTunes, then thank you. Here’s what I want you to do. On an index card, it could be 3×5 inches or whatever type of card you have because it takes less space.

I want you to write down your biggest takeaway or a-ha moment that you made a distinction of or you realized from this episode. If you haven’t given me a review on iTunes, then here’s my request. This is where I’m going to do my selling. I want you to go to, which will go directly to the iTunes review section. Write in your biggest a-ha moment or your biggest takeaway from this episode. I don’t want you to review this as all the episodes.

I want one specific a-ha moment for this episode because that is more juice that could put me up in the ratings and spread the truth so that more people get access to it. Especially those people who don’t like to sell or are afraid of selling or hate to sell. It will mean a lot to me. That’s why I’m asking. Once you give a review as your takeaway, your next step is to rate it.

I’d like you to go over to five stars and I hope I’ve earned those five stars from you. Will you do that the moment you stop reading this episode while it’s fresh on your mind? It’ll take 3 minutes out of your day, but what you declare could provide you and others reading that review a valuable learning lesson that came from you, not from me.

I do have one final gift in honor of this 57th episode, it’s complimentary, which means free access to my video eCourse. There are four different videos. You will learn how to identify your market. You will learn how to create and craft an irresistible message. You will learn how to capitalize on the most lucrative media sources available to you.

ASA 57 | Wonderful Lie

Wonderful Lie: The most lucrative skill you could possibly have is building your relationship capital.


Only your market makes you money, your message and your media sources cost you money and time. I hope our paths cross again because this is the show dedicated to making you, teaching you how to become an ethical influencer. Plus, my wish for you is to bring more certainty in your personal and professional life.

Please do whatever it takes to join me because our topic is Think Big but Act Small. If you think big and act big, you can go broke. If you think big but act small, you test your track and then you start rolling out and building momentum. I’m going to teach you the most embarrassing situations I had come across when I thought big and acted big and they were big mistakes. I lost tens of thousands of dollars in one case over $242,000 in less than eighteen months.

I encourage you to invite a friend or bring a colleague or you can have a study friend. It would be great if you’d invite them before then and come to so you can compare notes because once you bring someone else in, it will get a little bit of community going. You’ll have a way to build relationship capital, and I hope my content is worthy of your devotion. I can’t wait to connect with you. It’s going to be a super fun episode. I hope our paths cross again then.

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